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Sexual Assault Frequently Asked Questions Since The COZA Saga. By Safarigirl (June)

Due to the overwhelming ignorance that has sadly inundated Nairaland since Busola Dakolo's interview broke out, I would like to address the most popular Mind-numbing questions that have been generated from this event once and for all.

I will address them one by one, and hope that my answers can free some of you from this disturbing stand you have taken on rape. I know many of you think this is the internet and there are no consequences, but one day, you will apply for an international visa, and they will check your internet history and discover you are a rape apologist and that will be the end of your dreams of being Mungo Park.

So, here goes.

1. WHY NOW?

Why now? Why not now? If not now, when?

How would you feel, if someone raped you and went about his daily life with pomp and pageantry? Have you ever been offended by someone? Has someone evee cheated you of something and gotten glory afterwards? How does that make you feel? Are you happy? Are you indifferent? Doesn't the sight of the person burn your soul?

Let me explain how rape works. Rape is not just a violent act against the body, it is an act against the mind as well. About 90% of rape victims are usually threatened with harm if they speak, some are cajoled into thinking their rape was normal. They cannot speak for fear of not being believed. How do you tell your parents that your uncle raped you? Who will believe you if you accuse the most jovial person in the neighborhood of rape? What will become of you if you tell someone that you were raped by the most dangerous person in the neighborhood? What if your parents' livelihood is at stake?

There is no stipulated time for anyone to confess their truth. So many may have confessed earlier on, but were told to shut up. I know rape victims that confided in their parents and were scolded for even talking such 'nonsense'. If your own family cannot believe you, who will you talk to?

All a victim needs is someone to believe them. Someone to stand by them, that feeling is all you need to speak your truth. Bishop's hand was held by her husband and she has spoken her truth, what the rest of the world has to say is irrelevant (YES, YOU are irrelevant), the most important person in her life right now is supportive and that is all that matters.

Why Now? Now, because someone has said I BELIEVE YOU, I SUPPORT YOU. So, whenever a victim's NOW occurs, is the right time.


2. WOULD SHE HAVE SPOKEN UP IF HE WASN'T RICH AND INFLUENTIAL?

Would the matter have been this serious if SHE wasn't rich and influential? Is Mrs. Dakolo the first person to accuse Fatoyinbo? How far did the last accusations go? How many protests did it lead to? How many people confessed to have been rape victims? Would it have risen to the level of a national discourse if she wasn't this rich and influential? Would you have taken it seriously if it wasn't Busola Dakolo?

When it was Ese, how many believed her? What was the support like? People accused her of being an olosho, homebreaker and all sorts. Today, it is a married woman with an influential husband, she has no risen to break pastor's home. What are you going to say? It is because of his position.

YES, his position is relevant. It is people in HIS position that are the most culpable in rape. Pastors, Imams, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Fathers, Mothers, Sisters. His Position influenced his act. People TRUST him, who would believe someone like HIM will rape anyone? Who will believe a Man Of God will rape anyone? WHO WILL BELIEVE?

Every rapist is INFLUENTIAL in their own right. Just because you don't know them, does not mean someone doesn't. They are known to families and neighbors. Someone looks at them with respect, every rapist is a celebrity in their own right. Their victims are witnesses to their adoration, their victims listen to the words of adulation showered upon them by those who do not know better. Every RAPIST os hiding under a CLOAK of INFLUENCE. You cannot talk, because nobody will believe that such an UPSTANDING member of society could do such a HEINOUS act.

It is good that a MOG is on the hot seat. This is a MESSAGE of Empowerment to victims, that NOBODY is ABOVE public PERSECUTION. If Fatoyinbo can be questioned, so can that uncle that is nice to everyone, so can the neughborhood philantropist, if Fatoyinbo can be harassed, then that sweet aunty can also be harassed, the landlord/caretaker can be harassed, your tormentor can be harasssed. There are no sacred cows.


3. MEN HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RECENT, HOW ARE WE SURE THIS ISN'T THE SAME?

Is it today Fatoyinbo has been accused? Is Busola the first one to accuse him? Since she spoke up, have more women not come to point fingers at him? Is he the only Pastor in Nigeria? Why always him? Why not Adefarasin, Oyakhilome or Suleiman? Is he the most successful? When Suleiman was faced with his own trials, was he, at any point accused of rape? Was Oyakhilome ever acccused of rape, even when he was accused of adultery?

How many men have been falsely accused by MULTIPLE women?

Fatoyinbo can best be likened to people like Bill Cosby and R-Kelly, not Neymar and C. Ronaldo.

One woman is vendetta, two women is a conspiracy, three women is a pattern, more than three women, is a perpetrator.


4. WHY CAN'T THEY PROTEST CORRUPTION?

Banky W, Rugged Man, Seun Kuti, Falz, Simi, ElDee

These are a few celebrities that have at one point or the other, protested against the Government and the System. What about you? Have you ever protested?

Let me tell you, Rape is Corruption, it is a corruption of a mind and body. It is a virus that lives within the rapist and is spread to the victim. When you tell a victim to shut up, you enable corruption. You are telling the world that a rapist should not be held accountable for his crimes, just like supporters of the corruption in government, are telling us those thieves should not be held accountable for theirs

The ACTIVE DEFENSE of ANY Crime, be it against the state or against HUMANITY is CORRUPTION. When you speak for an ALLEGED Rapist, you SUPPORT corruption.
"She enjoyed it" is the same thing as "If na you, you sef go steal pass am". "Why didn't she talk since?" Is the same thing as "Enemy of progress, why will you report a theft in the office?"

Rape is a scourge to society just as looting is. The victim will grow up to become a part of the society, thw victim will not heal, the victim will carry a grudge and INNOCENT people will suffer for it. Some victims grow up to be molesters, and create more victims. You are creating a spciety of victims. Rape is as much a threat to a FUNCTIONAL society as corruption is. The society is made by PEOPLE, a society CANNOT function properly if the PEOPLE in it, are PSYCHOLOGICALLY messed up.

The same way that a person steals money and it is covered up, that is how people steal innocence and cover it up. These two acts BREED corruption and both acts mess up the society.

Theft and Rape are TWO sides of a DAMAGED COIN. They are not EXCLUSIVE. When you condemn one and make excuses for the other, you DEFEND corruption.


5. TAKE IT TO COURT, NOT SOCIAL MEDIA

This is cute, considering most of you accusing politicians of corruption have never even approached the Code Of Conduct Bureau to lay a complaint, even less approached an actually court of law.

Has Ganduje been convicted by a court of corruption? There is a video of him collecting money, and so? Is it not just an allegation? What do you know the money is for?

Before most cases go to formal court, they must pass through the court of public opinion first. This court of public opinion is particularly useful where the rich and influential are concerned, because without it, the right authorities may not be moved to act.

In every country in the world, court of public opinion is incredibly important, that is why PR firms EXIST, because public opinion is easily the most influential thing in today's society.

Public opinion matters because whatever decisions the courts reach, will affect the public directly or indirectly. So, while plans are in motion to institute this case in court, believe that the court of public opinion will have their say.

6. WHY IS THE CHURCH UNDER ATTACK?

This one is ridiculous.

Really? Is Fatoyinbo the church? Os he not just an individual? I did not know an individual can now be substitutued with a body as VAST as the church?

This argument is particularly interesting because a while ago, the Catholic church was inundated with protests concerning molestation of boys by priests. I did not see anyone talkinf about an attack on the church. Rather, a lot of 'Christians' were attacking and gloating at the Catholic church. What is with the double standards though?

How come I didn't see this energy then? Oh yeah! Only these New Generation churches make up the body of Christ these days, and one pastor can now be substituted for the entire church of Christ.

It is only the incredibly dense that use this line. One person cannot be "the church". Fatoyinbo is just a man, like you and me, whose 'anointing' is in question. Fatoyinbo cannot and can never be 'the church', Fatoyinbo is not even COZA church.

The church has been in existence long before anyone alive was, the church has outlived millions of people. The church has outlived years of persecution, the church has lived through divisions and break ups, the church survived scandals involving mass murder and genocide. It is not something as fickle aas Fatoyinbo's restless privates that will destroy the church.

The church is under threat, because the followers of Christ are PROTECTING the evil that lives AMONG them. The church is not being threatened from outside, it is being threatened from WITHIN. When the body of Christ is seen to support evil, they cause believers to live in doubt. God is not a God of evil, Christ would never support rapists and murderers.

The church may be under attack, but the evil elements inside are the people attacking the church from the inside.


Having answered these questions, I will not be answering any other question. Those who will be rapists, will continue to defend their ilk. I am glad that this saga has led many to talk about their experiences and given them the opportunity to heal. Whether Fatoyinbo is eventually charged and convicted of rape is not as important, because the most important goal has been achieved; many rapists have been exposed across the country, many victims have been given the much needed outlet and many will get the chance to finally heal. If that is all that is achieved, it will be for the greater good of the society.

source http://www.nairaland.com/5273834/rape-faq-nairaland-since-coza

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